Lost To Found
Discover the everyday losses that keep you from living the life you desire.
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Lessons In Loss
What Every Therapist Needs To Know.
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Domestic Violence

Therapy can help you heal the scars of Domestic Violence.

Domestic Violence (DV) is a social problem as well as a problem within a family and is defined as the use of physical aggression and mental/emotional abuse with members involved in intimate interpersonal relationships or when one person tries to dominate and control the other person. DV abuse has one purpose and that is to gain and maintain control over someone you love or are in romantic partnership with. Any situation where a partner is forced to participate in unwanted sex of any kind, is also considered domestic abuse. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame, intimidation, threaten to physically harm the victim and or her children/those around her. DV often escalates from threats and verbal abuse to violence. While physical violence may be the most dangerous or life threatening, the emotional and psychological are more wide spread with the consequences also severe. Economic abuse although more subtle, is also a form of emotional abuse, with the goal being to control the other person.

DV is a crime inside the family and law enforcement has the power and authority to protect people from it. That said, the problem is often overlooked, excused or denied. Often the incidents of physical abuse (DV) seem minor when compared to those we read about or see on TV or heard about from other survivors. This is a form of denial. Domestic Violence (DV) can happen to anyone, regardless of ones socio-economic circumstances. The number one sign that someone is in an abusive relationship is their fear of their significant other./the other person. No one should live in fear of the person they love.

Physical abuse tends to occur at moments of great stress. Many people who commit physical abuse were often abused themselves as children. As a result they rationalize the abuse and don't see it as inappropriate and can consider it appropriate discipline. People who commit physical abuse have poor impulse control. This prevents them from thinking about what happens as a result of their actions. Abuse tends to be learned, passed down from generation to generation often referred to as "the cycle of violence". The same is true for children witnessing domestic violence. Many abused children have low self-esteem. The abusers will usually make their children feel that the violence is their fault. Even when the violence isn't directed towards the child, such as domestic violence they often feel guilty and blame themselves.also feel grief and shame over the abuse that is occurring to themselves or to others in the family. There parents are unable to create nurturing bonds with their children and the children are at greater risk for abuse and neglect. Children in these homes have more anxiety than children not exposed. They live in fear of the next violent act, towards them or others in the family and they have fear that their parents will abandon them. As a result, their anxiety can develop into panic disorder, phobias and other mal-adaptive defenses. Over time, untreated anxiety can impair a child's life and ability to function.

The scars of domestic violence run deep and can stay with a person long after they have escaped the abusive situation. These relationships can destroy or chip away at a persons self-worth, lead to anxiety and depression and making someone feel helpless and alone. Victims of domestic abuse are struggle with unsetting emotions, frightening memories and a sense of constant danger. People often feel emotionally numb, disconnected from themselves, often isolated from others and unable to trust people. The good news is that through therapy people can learns new coping skill, heal the deep scars, and improve the quality of their life.